Parking Lot Justice Like I Used to Deliver

by Donald Hanson • September 25, 2014 • Newsy Jersey, PassaicComments (0)2404


Photo Credit : abcnews,

A few days ago a Corvette driver took up 2 spaces at a Red Robin in Clifton. Jeep driver Kyle DeMattia did not appreciate the arrogant behavior so he drove up onto the sidewalk and parked right next to him using the empty half of his space. He then got a table near the front door with a good view of the cars and shot a video of the owner returning to his car. The Corvette owner’s reaction was not spectacular but it was still interesting to watch. If I was Kyle I would have parked so close to the Corvette that the only way the owner could get in would be to crawl through the car from the passenger side. Maybe Kyle didn’t want a confrontation because you never know how crazy the other driver would be and I can respect that attitude.

This whole story reminded me of things I used to do at one of my previous jobs. At that job collecting shopping carts was on my list of responsibilities. One of the things I wound up doing was coming up with creative ways of dealing justice when I thought it was necessary.

For instance, if someone parked their car in the fire zone just to go into a store to buy something I would bring over long rows of shopping carts, surround their car with them, side front and back, and then walk away and watch what happened from a distance.

Another type of behavior that I wasn’t too fond of was the above mentioned parking a car to take up to spots instead of one because they didn’t want to risk someone parking next to them, opening their door and hitting their car. If you don’t want to risk that the solution is to park really far away in the part of the parking lot that is empty. The solution is not to hog two spaces. Imagine what the parking lot would look like if everyone did that!

The action I would take in this situation was to grab a bunch of shopping carts and place each one extremely close to the car but without touching it. I would put at least one on each side of the car, then sit back and watch the reactions. This was definitely the most enjoyable and satisfying of all of my methods of parking lot justice.

The behavior of the driver returning to their car was always the same. They would walk over to their car, slowly pull away one cart at a time. And with the removal of each shopping cart they would look closely at their car running their finger along the surface looking for dents or paint chips. It would take them a good 5 or 10 minutes before they got in their car to leave. But what made it even more satisfying was that over the next few days if they noticed any imperfection on their car they would probably think it was from the shopping carts even if it wasn’t. Maybe something else happened after they left the parking lot. Maybe they would wind up seeing something that was always there but that they had never noticed before. Who knows? I just knew that this would stick with them like a splinter and at least cause a certain amount of frustration.

I guess I was way ahead of my time. There was no such thing as Youtube when I did this, cellphones weren’t very common and couldn’t shoot video anyway so I just did this for my own satisfaction. To think, if I had that job now and I did that I could have had a viral video on Youtube with over a million views. Just a case of bad timing I guess.

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