New Jersey director, screenwriter, producer, music manager and, of course, comedian KL Martin is a modern day Renaissance man. And he is funny as hell. His Facebook series of perspectives posts are both popular and entertaining. We decided to present them here in a series of posts – Ed
BLACK GUYS PERSPECTIVE #305
I can’t casually listen to System of a Down. If only for the safety of those around me.
Listen, one of the things I really worried about as a basketball player, both collegiate and professionally, was:
“What in the hell was I going to do with this aggression when I was done playing?”
And NOTHING set me off like a stick of TNT quite like System of a Down.
I played with ruthless aggression and anger that I can’t really describe to people without them getting pretty damn scared, rightfully so. I, while playing in Germany, once got elbowed in the eyebrow which split open and required four stitches. Before they got me off the floor, I was COOKING my defender, but he was still playing super hard. At least he was until he saw me paint my face with my own blood ala warpaint, took the ball and dunk over him.
I screamed like an animal.
By the time I came back to the game (yes, I came back) he was so freaked out he outright refused to guard me. I saw him years later and he told me that was the first time he was ever scared of another player.
I smiled widely. I still do.
That story is the embodiment of what System of a Down does to me. I could only listen to it playing professionally because I was paid to be that animal. In the real world, hell even in a pickup game (no, I rarely play pick up and this is the reason) they’d have to tranquilize me. I hear people listening to it in passing and I feel like they’ve got to put me in a straitjacket before I run through a wall.
Could you imagine me listening to WHOLE SYSTEM album pregame and just going Eurolegaue level hard against a bunch of dad bodied weekend warriors, ruining lives and screwing up 401Ks?
OK that image is sort of funny and you’re wrong for laughing at that!
BLACK GUY PERSPECTIVE #318
Due to the #coronavirus it is now socially acceptable for white people to give the “Wakanda Forever” salute in lieu of handshakes.
I got some real push back on this from my fellow black people.
I get it. That’s supposed to be OUR thing.
However, at this point since no one knows how to wash their damn hands before leaving the bathroom, sneezing in people’s mouths essentially and seemingly coughing into their hands like a 6 year old who doesn’t know any better but then giving high fives, what fucking choice do we have? Hmm?
Air high fives are dumb and still dangerous if only because getting caught doing this like its Wayne’s World should get you open hand slapped in the face.
Its 2020, grow the hell up.
We can’t hug each other considering it is as dangerous as being hugged a little too long by your weird uncle or an overly affectionate priest.
Before you say anything, I went to catholic school so chill, I can say that.
So, what’s left to do? You can teach your white friends the black guy head nod or some mainstream gang sign but honestly I can barely deal with one Justin Bieber as it is and the one I can deal with I have wondered aloud how he might have coronavirus but has dodged herpes for nearly thirty years.
Basically, these are your choices.
I choose WAKANDA FOREVER!!
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