Now as Councilman-Elect KL Martin. I know you’re probably going, “What in the heck?” Honestly, I’d be asking the same thing.
Sometime during this tumultuous dark cloud of a year littered with protests, police brutality and oh…. yea covid I became more involved with the townspeople where I live than I have in years passed. Suddenly, I felt like my way of dealing with the ridiculousness of 2020, being the comedic but brutality honest squeaky wheel, just wasn’t enough. So after being approached by the mayor, some initial back and forth with my family and a deep clean of my social media, (seriously, I might as well have poured bleach on this CPU) I decided:
“Why the fuck not?”
I felt like I’d win because I’m a competitor. But I won BIG. Like landslide big. Don’t worry though. I’m going to continue be the same guy, but perhaps not as loud and blunt.
Black Guy Perspective #598
You are now allowed to watch “Love Actually” from now until the end of the year.
However, in exchange, you are to discontinue any and all listening to Mariah Carey Christmas music, original or cover.
Reconcile that in whatever you need to in order to enjoy your movie watching experience
Listen people, I have NO problem with Christmas music even as a converted Jew. In fact, I envy Christmas music because outside of Adam Sandler, what music do we have? The Hava Nagila? LOL. Its wholly unfair.
But I HATE Mariah Carey’s version “All I Want for Christmas”. I would rather listen to a bunch angry cats mixed with nails on the chalkboard, going over a cliff than listen to this song. It’s not even Mariah’s fault honestly. I was on a flight to South Korea and for whatever, call it fate, bad luck or the Almighty torturing me for shits and giggles, this godforsaken song got stuck on repeat for the last 3 hours before landing in Seoul.
I can’t even describe the feeling that followed the first hour or the subsequent two after that but lets just say that legitimately drank 25-40 of those little vodka/whiskey nips. Genuinely, I hoped at minimum I’d pass out, maximum I’d go deaf. Either way, I wouldn’t have to hear it again.
I have Carey PTSD.
Copyright, You Don’t Know Jersey, LLC (2010-2024)